• Lydia Gray

What Online Dating Taught Me About God’s Will

Online dating used to be a topic that people didn't talk about. People wouldn't want to admit that they met someone online. But now online dating is a regular topic of conversation - it is no longer taboo to admit to someone that you met a decent guy online. I tried online dating for three years. Needless to say, it came with it's own frustrations and struggles. (If you have ever heard any of my online dating tales you know my struggle.) There were many times that I questioned why I was searching for a guy this way. Because after all God will just send your husband to your door fully matured and ready to wife you up, right?

No. That's not how it works. That is like praying that God will help you get an A on a test, but you don't study at all. All I did was go to work, church, and home - and with working alone; the only eligible bachelor at church being under 10 years old; and obviously no eligible men at home I was just destined to die an old maid. I went back and forth for those three years with the thought that I need to stop searching and let God lead a man to me. I started to compromise and accept less than I deserved.

I had started to accept that I was just talking to guys online for the attention; I was never going to find anyone that met all my expectations and answered my prayers.

Here's the thing I learned about online dating. There is no obligation to keep talking to the person you talked to yesterday because there will be someone new tomorrow.

That's great and all because there are endless options. But at the same time you are just another girl. And someone better could come along tomorrow. There is always someone better right behind you. That's an awful feeling to know you can be replaced with a right swipe.

Online dating taught me that even if I am rejected for someone better - God will always choose me.

Before going on a date, I would pray "if it be in your will God, please allow this one to work out." And then I would get upset when they didn't show up or if they turned out to be a jerk. One day I was getting ready for work after a particularly hurtful rejection and I was looking in the mirror when I realized that I got exactly what I prayed for. I asked for God's will to be done. And it was - God removed that person from my life because he wasn't the one God had for me. I had no reason to be upset; I had every reason in the world to rejoice that God had my back.

Not long after I had this realization, I started talking to someone else. But I didn't ask this one all my relentless questions because I no longer cared if they checked off certain boxes. I knew that if it didn't work out that I was loved more than I could ever imagine by a God who never ceases to love me despite all my failures. I was searching for what only God could give me in a man here on this earth.

When I gave up the idea of what things are supposed to be like in my life the craziest thing happened. I got exactly what I had been praying for. We went on a date...and then another...and another - all in one weekend. Before we went on that first date, I prayed once again, "if it be in your will God, please allow this one to work out."

Now we're not married, we're not engaged. We've only been dating 6 weeks. So I'm not saying that there is not a possibility of it not working out. But I can rest easy knowing that the same God that holds the stars and the moon holds me too, and no matter what happens in my current relationship, God's will for my life is much better than my plans for my life.

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